If I have not seen a more terrible candidate in my life. I am glad I am not from TN right now. Unfortunately this man is from PA, and so am I and it makes it sad to admit that.

It has finally come, Eva Mendes Sex Tape. I wonder how many hits this will get now. I mean so many people will see the headline and think it is a real sex tape. Sorry everyone.

Morning Ketch-Up

Poor Bieber, with fame comes great responsibility. Also with fame comes no privacy and crazy life, but all celebrities know that when getting into what they do. I mean they make more money then people can ever imagine, and there is a reason for that. It is crazy ass fans. In this video Bieber jumps on a Segway to try get away. Unfortunately they are not very fast, people are easily able to catch up to them.

Bieber must have nightmares of screaming little brats trampling him to death, or pulling him limb by limb to get a picture of him.

Morning Ketch-Up

• Is Milla Jovovich wearing my carpet?–Go Fug Yourself
• Jessica Biels crazy look, looks like she just got done having sex in her limo–celebitchy
• Michael Cera dresses as Captain America for ComicCon–LaineyGossip
• Maury Chaykin dies at 61.–Washington Post
• What is all wrapped around Katy Perry’s boobs this time?–Hollywood Tuna
• Lance Bass licking on Marc Jacob’s old piece?–dlisted
• First Look at Penelope Cruz on Pirates of the Caribbean–Eonline
• Lindsay Lohan Goes to Jail Computer Game–BuzzFeed
• Victoria Justice is the next Disneybot Hottie turning 18 in six months–Egotastic
• Russell Brand, Underwear Model?–JustJared
• Beach time with Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias–PopSugar
• Damn you TMZ for censoring your photos, Lady Gaga horseplay in the pool–TMZ
• Rachel Uchitel already runs screaming and crying from Celebrity Rehab–Radar

I think this should be Wilmington, North Carolina’s first Con ever. We need to talk Joshua Jackson into holding his Pacey-Con here. Check out this Funny or Die skit of Joshua Jackson paying tribute to his favorite character at this years Comic-Con. One of the greatest shows ever filmed in this area, Pacey-Con would just bring out more and more fans.

The video shows Joshua trying to break into Comic-Con, and I find it funny that the security guards have no clue who he is. I mean he is on one of the biggest hit tv shows right now too, Fringe. Speaking of Fringe, he says that the only real reason he is doing the show is to fund his convention. So support Pacey-Con!

Afternoon Delight

• Peaches Geldof gives her amazing film analysis of “Salt”–celebitchy
• Angelina Jolie in China–dlisted
• Leann Rimes and Eddie Cibrian moving in together–JustJared
• Kate Moss topless in Vanity Fair–Egotastic
• Justin Timberlake possibly replace Simon Cowell on American Idol–PopSugar
• Snooki enjoys wearing one pieces–People
• Bruised and Battered Oksana Grigorieva photos–Radar

From a galaxy far far away, Sith Lord Vadar has now traveled to Manhattan. While there he has decided to rob a Chase bank. Can you feel the presence of the dark side? A man dressed as Darth Vader robbed a Long Island bank yesterday at gunpoint.

Unfortunately, Luke Skywalker nor Obi Wan was able to stop him this time. Vader was able to escape with a large amount of bills to help fund his new starship.

Afternoon Delight

• Kim Kardashian says she feels sorry for Reggie Bush, ha–celebitchy
• Brad Pitt the Zombie slayer in World War Z–Eonline
• Mel Gibson wants Harvey Levin’s jewish blood on his hands–dlisted
• Bunch of dorks uncorking it on Paris Hilton–Egotastic
• Ben McKenzie to offer his voice to Scooby-Doo reboot–JustJared
• Billy Corgan collapses on stage–PopEater

A hilarious Funny or Die video starring Tim Roth(Lie to Me). Instead of prostitutes we have brostitute. It is a brilliant idea, and is absolutely hilarious.

Well here comes another fine I am sure. Tiger over the weekend played the British Open at St.Andrews, Scotland. In the past Woods has won two Opens, but this time it is on a new course. Anyways, Tiger lost in the end. During one of his putts he ended up losing it and dropping the f-bomb.

Tiger told US Weekly what happened during the tournament:

“That’s just the way it goes. I’m not going to win all of them. I’ve lost a lot more than I’ve won. The good news is I’ve won half of them not on these venues, too. I feel satisfaction in the sense that I drove it on a string all week and hit my irons pretty good, but other than the first day, I did not putt well at all. You just can’t play and expect to win golf tournaments if you have nine or 10 three-putts for a week. No one can win doing that. Got to clean that up before I tee it up again.”

Tiger ended up yelling out the f-bomb more then once if you listen closely.

This was a brilliant mix and is absolutely hilarious. It is Christian Bale rant vs Mel Gibson rant. I mean it has these two titans squaring off against each other. Their mouths have to make their mothers so proud. Be careful, this has a lot of vulgar language.

Afternoon Delight

• Bristol Palin and Levin Johnston getting married, is it a sham?–dlisted
• Bret Michaels gets turned down on Engagement–Eonline
• Ole Kelly Brook topless movie pics(NSFW)–Egotastic
• Lindsay Lohan licking a revolver–celebuzz
• Piers Morgan to take over for Larry King?–Access Hollywood
• Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem married while back–JustJared
• Lindsay Lohan in suicide drama?–celebitchy

Afternoon Delight

So the other day Joan Rivers made some funny cracks at Lindsay Lohan on twitter. Samantha Ronson then responded with some of her own back at Joan Rivers.

Joan stated: “Lindsay Lohan said she wouldn’t mind being under oath because she thought Oath was a Norwegian ski instructor.”

SamRo commented: “Hey Joan Rivers- you have collagen older than Lindsay, pick on someone your own age, oh wait, I guess people that old can’t hear.”

So now Joan is stating that people need to stop worrying about getting back at her for making jokes, and worry about the real problem. I completely support Joan in this matter. I mean she is a comedian, it is her job to poke fun. I agree that the Lohan family and friends need to get Lindsay help and stop worrying about the media and start worrying about some one’s life that could end due to drugs. We have seen so many great stars fall down that rabbit hole too early in life.

Joan could also be thanked by Lohan and SamRo, it seems the two have now went on a lunch date together recently.

Morning Ketch-Up

• Is Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough’s relationship fake?–celebitchy
• Princess Beatrice shows her camel toe(site NSFW)–Drunken Stepfather
• What i would give to motorboat Sofia Vergara–Egotastic
• Could Oksana get in trouble for recording Mel Gibson–Eonline
• Melissa Etheridge’s ex not getting another penny–TMZ
• Carlos Santana proposes to long time girlfriend–Access Hollywood
• Ed Norton speaks out about Hulk–JustJared
• Brad Pitt got rid of the goat beard–PopSugar